I decided to step outside my comfort zone and go to the movies. For many of you, this is a typical and enjoyable experience. However, previous social media and news stories had significantly affected my enjoyment. I decided to give it a try, even if I felt anxious during the process. The experience was quite different from before; I could choose my seats and order snacks online, which I found really impressive. As I prepared, I felt a little nervous. Once I arrived, I looked through my email to find the barcode and showed it to the attendant. I was excited about the film. As I entered and made my way toward the snacks, I became overwhelmed by the sight of so many people who seemed happy and excited to see their movie that I began to feel panicked. I grabbed my snacks and headed to my numbered theater. Walking into the dimly lit theater and heading up the ramp, anxiety washed over me. I checked my phone to locate my seat. While waiting for the show to start, I turned into a detective—at least, that’s how I felt—scanning the room for anyone suspicious, especially those with backpacks or who seemed out of place. I tried to calm myself by enjoying the popcorn and the previews, but my gaze landed on two suspicious individuals. They were probably just as excited about the movie as I was, but I felt uneasy. I watched them from the corner of my eye, wondering if anyone would try to sit with them or if they appeared nervous or fidgety. For some reason, I felt compelled to plan an escape route in my mind if I needed to leave quickly. What was happening to my mind? I should be just enjoying the moment. Fortunately, the theater filled up, and as more people sat near those I found suspicious, I felt relieved that others were watching them throughout the film, or so I thought.
As the movie played, I kept track of anyone heading to the bathroom. I totally just needed to stop. After some time, I started to feel better, enjoyed the film, and was relieved when it ended. I left feeling like I had survived the outing and even managed to talk about the enjoyable experience, letting go of my cautious instincts.
On the drive home, I questioned whether I was overreacting and if feeling this way in the theater was normal. When I got home, I checked the odds of something happening in a movie theater; they were as low as my chances of becoming a billionaire in the lottery tonight. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Has anyone stopped going altogether? I don’t want to feel like this, so I’m considering going more often to help overcome my fears. I genuinely enjoyed the experience once I calmed down, and it was great to hear people clapping and enjoying the film, offering a welcome break from being indoors. Do bad experiences really create a divide in enjoyment? Should there be security and bag checks, even though those checks might catch everyone who enjoys their snacks from home in their bags? Ultimately, we have the power to be resilient and pursue our passions, even in the face of anxiety. Let’s embrace those challenges, for when we conquer them, we will discover the joy and fulfillment that comes from following our hearts.
I was the elephant in the room.
Cher, XO
